A REMINDER TO GIVE YOURSELF A FIST BUMP
For one of my first posts , I contemplated writing about my methods in my work, the philosophy of my business, perhaps some health tips and tricks or maybe even a really long post about how awesome camping is. But then I closed my eyes and felt that little twinge of fire in my soul that told me exactly what I needed to write about.
Last night I was sitting at my table at 7pm thinking about all of the things I had to do. I looked at my organizer (praise Jesus for that) and at my notes for PDF content, for client programming, for paid advertising, yada yada—the list goes on. I listened to my stomach rumble, but I didn’t want to cook. I told myself I was horrible for not going to the gym in three days. For not thoroughly cleaning all the camping gear out of my car. For not doing my laundry that day. For a split second, I looked around me and heard the demons in my head saying, “Cristina, you can’t do this. Cristina, you are a failure. Do you even know how to fill in the blank with many things I can’t do?”
How often do you hear these voices in your head? How often do you feel paralyzed by the fear of being a failure? Of not being enough? Of disappointing someone? Of that “damn it, no matter how hard I try at this, it just won’t come”?
But then I snapped back into reality. I quite literally said, “All right, Cristina, let’s kick some ass! You are good at a lot of things. You are bad at a lot of things. And that’s A-OK.”
It’s that quick shift in telling myself that I am fully capable that has allowed me to accomplish so many things—and to fail at many things—in my life. But I look at them as yin and yang. Success and Failure go hand in hand. Failure is not bad; it is growth.
For those of you that don’t know who Brené Brown is, stop reading right this second and go buy her book Daring Greatly. Seriously. Do it now. Brené’s 2010 TEDxHouston talk, “The Power of Vulnerability,” is one of the top five most viewed TED talks in the world, with over 28 million views.
Dr. Brené Brown spent ten years gathering qualitative research about shame, vulnerability and fear, and she says the following in regards to perfectionism:
“Perfectionism is a self destructive and addictive belief system that fuels this primary thought: If I look perfect, and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimize the painful feelings of shame, judgment, and blame.”- Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection
In a “Super Soul Sunday” episode with Oprah Winfrey, Brown says, “I call perfectionism ‘the 20-ton shield.’ We carry it around thinking it’s going to protect us from being hurt. But it protects us from being seen.”
Think about that for a second.
How many people in your life can you really be “seen” with? If you have more than one, consider yourself very lucky. Imagine if you worked in a place, lived in a place, cohabitated in a place with people who you could really be seen with? How would that make you feel? Would you feel naked? Perhaps at first, but then the beautiful thing is, you’d start to find people who had the exact same struggle as you. Who appreciated your vulnerability and maybe even found their own courage in you.
Instead of appearing like you have all of your ducks in a row, practice some self-compassion. Give yourself a fist bump for asking for help on that project and letting yourself be seen. Give yourself a fist bump for telling one person in your life that you trust your craziest, wildest, ridiculous dream that you have never yet dared to tell anyone.
So, my friends, it is with all of the above that I want you to join along with me in my blog and journey. Because, in reality, Rooted came about as a way to be unafraid. As a way to be stripped of layers of what we think we should be. As a place of community to seek out help and support. As a place to feel renewed and restored in welcoming spaces like nature. As a place to know that fear will always be in our lives, but to also acknowledge that you can have fear and also have a tremendous amount of bravery.
If you liked this post and might want more check out Rooted. More than anything, I appreciate conversations so if you resonated with this post or have any comments, please share!